The End of One Adventure and the Beginning of Another

I am sitting here staring at the little gymnast that use to live inside my belly. The same one that use to kick and move non-stop, the miniature being that grew within my womb for nine months. Its an amazing feeling to see how such a physical act introducing two very different biological parts of the human race can grow into this tiny person.

I remember the first ultrasound and the picture isn't much of a dot. A grain of rice they say is what the actual size of your little bean at that stage, right?

My little bean sprouted, grew and developed into a little girl with dark curly hair, a tiny ball tipped nose, teeny thin lips, natural-tan airbrushed skin with rose-y cheeks and a touch of yellow, Dark Blue eyes (hope they don't change), long piano finger and long monkey toes. She has squeals resembling a cute piglet , cries that are one of a kind, she squeaks similar to a squeaky toy and makes all these other sounds. She is so lifelike and a beautiful example of perfection (in a parents eyes of course). She is the perfect combination of Stas and I and she started out as two biological substances that met, cells multiplied and just kept multiplying...boom she was created. Again, I continue to stare at her and am just amazed. I think that is one of the first gifts of parenthood, the sheer amazement of it all that is greater then any other amazement that could be experienced.

Her entrance into this world as we all know didn't go totally smoothly. Early labor lasted far longer then it does in most people, an entire month of regular contractions that refused to go away. The discomfort of getting my cerclage put in, needlessly stretched and nearly ripped then the early removal. The multiple hospitalizations, early delivery scares and over all frustration made the last twenty weeks of my pregnancy less then desirable. Yet if you could see past my complaints and my eventual anti-social behavior at the end I was glad she was so healthy, moved so much and showed no signs of any actual distress. The only one distressed was me! 

Her actual coming into the world was however quick, not painless by any means but very quick. Active labor was only about three hours. The 5 or 6 pushes that followed were for obvious reasons intense but quick. I doubted my ability prior to the experience, I doubted my ability during the experience but thankfully were surrounded by a wonderful staff, my wonderful Stas and the delivery was attended by a very good, supportive doctor. I felt the entire experience and I am glad I did. The pain and pressure is a different kind of intense the sheer feeling of accomplishment is one of a kind and the product of it all is such an amazing creature. I tore due to her broad shoulders but it was only a category 2 which is super mild compared to the other alternatives although not being torn at all would have been ideal. Yet, its me and since when do I get to experience ideal. I wouldn't say that delivering a baby is easy at all but worth the experience if the health of those involved allow.

Now she is here.

I am lucky to say my recovery seems to be going quickly. She has a clean bill of health and while I am a bit anemic, I am actually doing great. My milk came in on day three and she is nursing like a pro, I consistently cringe for the first sixty or so seconds of every session (every two hours or so) but otherwise nursing is going smoothly. She gets tons of milk which makes me happy because it will help her grow strong and healthy. After each feeding she goes into what I call a Mama's Milk induced coma, giving me time to either get something completed, such as this blog or catch up on some Zzzz's myself. Although at night she sleeps pretty solidly, feeds quickly and instantly goes back to her slumber. I am not complaining, not one ill word about this so far. Papa (Stas) helps every chance he gets, he is already wrapped tightly around her little piano fingers. Which I love, its so fantastic to see her pull at his heart strings with such ease and she can't even talk yet. Once she can talk its all over for him and he won't even see it coming, while I sit back and enjoy the show. (Giggle)

The adventures to follow are going to be interesting, and I am sure they will have serious frustrations but I don't care. I think this is ... no, allow me to correct that before I complete my sentence. I KNOW this is my greatest accomplishment, my greatest responsibility and I love it.

My blogs will continue to document the journey ahead of us. Stay tuned!   

This is STUPID! (POSSIBLE TMI)

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning. However I started this leaky faucet thing and then I really haven't been to urinate all day or yesterday either to be honest without pain or sometimes at all due to the baby pressure (I think). I don't want to go into L&D. I see him tomorrow damn it.
However from what I understand if I am leaking fluid then I could get an infection so I think I have to go in, its the RIGHT thing to do.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Waiting on Doctors call back. I feel so stupid!

*CRIES*

FACTS- All current facts are these: 5-5.5 cm Dilated, 80-85% Effaced, contractions 1-1.5min apart lasting anywhere between 1-2mins long, Station 0 and a bulging water bag (occasionally). He almost broke my water but expected it to happen by that evening, it didn't... that was Monday January Tenth (Through the Twelfth). 

Now its Wednesday and I am still pregnant, still contracting regularly, still miserable, no relief, no reprieve just at home. We are waiting for my water to break. I can't do this past 36 weeks. I won't. I am done, frustrated and exhausted. Talking to the doctor tomorrow. We will see what happens then.  

Doctors Appointment....

No fetal fibronectin test today, its not worth it. It really doesn't tell us anything that we didn't know already. I got scolded for doing too much, he says he knows I am not doing his version of "taking it easy". My reply was "You try just sitting there doing NOTHING all the time." he proceeded to tell me he couldn't. That is why he knows I am not but as long as I am doing my best. I told him that I do the grocery shopping but via electronic cart, he said okay that is fine. I also told him that I help with dinner but sitting down majority of the time. He also agreed that was okay but would rather I just sit without doing something, read a book, watch TV but no physical action. I told him I do that to but I can't do it too much it makes me crazy. I am glad the doc and I can see eye to eye.

As for Jaciel, she is healthy and yet again kicked the doc in retaliation while he was trying to get a decent reading on her little beating heart. The heart sounded odd this time because we could hear more then one valve. It was weird but that means she is well developed.

Today really hasn't been a bad day but I have been in a horrid mood. Aside from my just plain moody nature this fine Tuesday things have actually gone well.

Tomorrow is another day and I hope it is better then this one. :)  

Great Appointment...Six Month Milestone

I can't believe it, I am six months into my adventure. I am over half way and that is amazing. In the words of my close friend and sister "...she will be in my arms before I know it." She's so right! The Cerclage is going to be removed January and its pretty much a free for all from then on. Do you realize how... do I realize how close January is? Ninety-two days, that is three months... that isn't long at all. NOT AT ALL! Oh my lord, whew. I am so happy. Jaciel is doing tumbles as I am saying this and its no lie that during this time frame I feel the most fetal movement because all I ever feel is movement. Even when she sleeps all it does is slow down almost seems like she tosses and turns in her sleep. Doc says she has long sleep cycles right now. Now if only I can get her to sleep when I want to sleep. Ha! Wishful thinking because we all know that won't happen, ever probably.

I already feel blessed and once she is born, in my arms for me to meet in person I am going to be in tears and shock that its all a reality. One part of the adventure has ended and a new one will begin.

I am already amazed by the resiliency she has shown, guess she is like her Mama.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am thrilled to meet it and I can't wait to get some things done in this house. I am going to be moving into our new two bedroom apartment very soon. This is all so exciting. Yay.

Bed-Rest

Yesterday I started to feel contractions, I am 22 weeks and obviously its far too early to be having contractions. Our baby is an active little one, I swear she is going to be a gymnast. She is growing perfectly, no problems everything inside is going smoothly until yesterday.

I am suppose to be taking it easy and I was under the impression I had been. Apparently not easy enough. I had began to notice that I felt twinges and such after grocery shopping also after I prepared a meal. Basically any standing or walking for any length of time would cause some twinges. However after about 30 minutes to an hour of sitting it faded away. I had planned to bring this up to Doctor on October 19th, which is my upcoming appointment. Apparently that wasn't soon enough.

Yesterday at about 10AM I began to feel what resembled contractions, and Jaciel had been moving around ten times more then what is normal. Didn't think anything of it besides that it had been a bit annoying. Then the annoying sensation began to become uncomfortable ranging to painful. Called that Doctor about 1PM didn't get a reply by 3PM so a trip to the emergency room ensued.

At first they didn't detect any contractions, they only saw how Jaciel seemed to be going for a world record of kicks in the exact same spot every time. I began to think it was all in my head and I was just being super sensitive to her movements now that she has become stronger.

Then I felt one. After the first one came more.

I got a shot of Terbutaline, which feels like the worst self induced anxiety attack on the planet. They tell me that I am not on Bedrest, modified so I can get up and go to the restroom as many times as desired. However the baby hasn't baked long enough to have a chance.

Now I am going batty and trying to not worry. Its looking like BED-REST is going to be what the doctor orders until birth.