This has been one heck of an adventure, with family, friends and more importantly each other we are making it day by day!
Thank you Stanislav Kalyuzhny for being the best friend, companion and father that I could ever ask for.

Jaciel is here! Pictures.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hot Kitchen... whew!

Well well... I guess I am starting to get back into my groove. I can't say I was totally removed from doing my thing but it took me a minute to get motivated to make advanced meals and actually look at my house and say to myself, "I need to get this crap together." then actually begin doing it. With any big change in ones lifestyle things get thrown of kilter. I am starting to bring things back together, slowly.

Jaciel is napping so sweetly in her swing. The kind of sleep a little one gets is one of a kind. I yearn for the total relaxed slumber. If dreams are had, they must be good ones because all I ever see is smiles while her sleepy body rests up for the next part of her day in this crazy over stimulated environment she is learning about. I couldn't imagine remembering how it felt to be exposed to the wild, interesting world that is around me now and seems so mundane even depressing at times. Yet when its all new it must be amazing. She smiles, and talks so much. The only worry she has isn't even a worry its a given in her mind. To be fed and clean with no doubt that those two demands will be met with soft words and quick hands. Amazed, why can't we remember these peaceful moments before life became filled with responsibilities and demands that aren't met with smiles if met at all.

I thought by now that this experience would become less wonderful. Heck with all the things people say about how hard it is, how little sleep you get and all that jazz I figured by now I would be lying on the floor wishing for a clone of myself. Yet instead I am still happy, and amazed every time I look into her beautiful face. I still tear up a little sometimes at her very existence and the adventures that we experienced together bringing her into being. Last but not least when someone tells me they are pregnant or they are going to see the first Ultrasound, hear the baby's heart going thump thump for the first time. I still feel the lump in my throat, the swelling of tears in my eyes and that unmistakable pressure in my chest that all goes along with a happy cry. I will never forget the intense feelings that came with ever doctors appointment. You'd think I'd be done with all that jazz by now. I'm not and I hope that I never lose that amazement.

Yesterday Jaciel made did it, she finally took a whole bottle from me. I am so happy. Yay!!! Then today she found her feet. She's developing so quickly.

Hope everyone enjoys there weekend. I know I will.

Monday, April 25, 2011

May is just around the corner!

Really? "May" can't already be arriving. What happened to February and March? I remember April but its a blur. -HAHA- My life is so full and busy. Bad days, Good days, Even better days... then some okay days in there to. The joy that is present with a little one in your life is no lie, its not something that I feel obligated to say. Its the truth. However I'd be lying if I didn't admit to some frustrating days and inconvenient duties of motherhood.

She is getting so big, she is twice as alert as she use to be. Its wonderful and going a little to fast but still wonderful. The last weigh in has her at a healthy 11lbs and 22.5in in length. Yay. The doctor claims she is advanced in her development, much like I was when I was a mini one. Apparently it runs in the genes. That just means that I am going to have my hands full sooner rather then later. Not that they aren't already full.

Her resemblance to her Papa and his family is unmistakeable she doesn't look anything like me any longer. Although I am not complaining. I think she is beautiful, then again I am her mother. It would be a crime for me to think she is anything but beautiful.

Jaciel has filled my life with dirty dipes, hours of nursing, endless laundry and its all well worth my time, I am reminded by the countless smiles. She smiles all the time, when she wakes, she smiles while she is nursing, she smiles as I rock her to sleep... she still even grins while she is asleep. Therefore all that work is paid for in smiles, which makes me smile. I love being a mother. 

April was a difficult month to be honest. On April 15th my Father had been gone a year. A year seems to pass by so quickly. He is missing so much. I can't help but feel its mostly due to his own doing. Your life choices NOW totally affect your children's lives later including but not limited to the family they create. Hello People, don't be selfish. Please.

Also this month a close friend of mine was gravely pained by someone she trusted. That hurts me to. That pain of betrayal is excruciating, unforgettable and majority of the time unforgivable. However she is a strong woman and I know she will be A-okay as time moves on.

I started a quasi-job. I'll tell you more about that later. Lets just saying its doing something I love. :)

My Grandmother has been hospitalized which is disturbing especially since I can't just hop in a car and go!