Well well... I guess I am starting to get back into my groove. I can't say I was totally removed from doing my thing but it took me a minute to get motivated to make advanced meals and actually look at my house and say to myself, "I need to get this crap together." then actually begin doing it. With any big change in ones lifestyle things get thrown of kilter. I am starting to bring things back together, slowly.
Jaciel is napping so sweetly in her swing. The kind of sleep a little one gets is one of a kind. I yearn for the total relaxed slumber. If dreams are had, they must be good ones because all I ever see is smiles while her sleepy body rests up for the next part of her day in this crazy over stimulated environment she is learning about. I couldn't imagine remembering how it felt to be exposed to the wild, interesting world that is around me now and seems so mundane even depressing at times. Yet when its all new it must be amazing. She smiles, and talks so much. The only worry she has isn't even a worry its a given in her mind. To be fed and clean with no doubt that those two demands will be met with soft words and quick hands. Amazed, why can't we remember these peaceful moments before life became filled with responsibilities and demands that aren't met with smiles if met at all.
I thought by now that this experience would become less wonderful. Heck with all the things people say about how hard it is, how little sleep you get and all that jazz I figured by now I would be lying on the floor wishing for a clone of myself. Yet instead I am still happy, and amazed every time I look into her beautiful face. I still tear up a little sometimes at her very existence and the adventures that we experienced together bringing her into being. Last but not least when someone tells me they are pregnant or they are going to see the first Ultrasound, hear the baby's heart going thump thump for the first time. I still feel the lump in my throat, the swelling of tears in my eyes and that unmistakable pressure in my chest that all goes along with a happy cry. I will never forget the intense feelings that came with ever doctors appointment. You'd think I'd be done with all that jazz by now. I'm not and I hope that I never lose that amazement.
Yesterday Jaciel made did it, she finally took a whole bottle from me. I am so happy. Yay!!! Then today she found her feet. She's developing so quickly.
Hope everyone enjoys there weekend. I know I will.