This has been one heck of an adventure, with family, friends and more importantly each other we are making it day by day!
Thank you Stanislav Kalyuzhny for being the best friend, companion and father that I could ever ask for.

Jaciel is here! Pictures.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Whatever Will Be, Will Be....

Whatever will be, will be and I will go with the flow. I will reign victor over my challenges and Queen of my destiny. I will support, love and take care of our daughter to the best of my ability doing whatever is necessary to do so. That all being said, Phillip, my ex is an ass! Last month I was unable to pay my rent due to the TAX man taking his funds which I can understand, the government isn't one that really thinks highly of forewarning anyone prior to taking what they think rightfully belongs to them. I reacted with understanding although I was stressed to the max with no obvious options.

This time he is just being an Ass! We agreed a while back that he was to provide me with the funds that the military makes him provide until March, making this month being the last month I get anything from him. Now mind you technically he is obligated to provide me with housing allowance. Yet this is prior to me telling him about Jaciel's pending debut into the world. He wasn't aware I was pregnant. That fact alone gives him the right to pull the money. However he still agreed to the deal which gave me time to get awarded assistance for her existence. Now suddenly after not giving me anything last month for a valid reason he tells me he doesn't have anything to give me because he has been moved off post. I would be happy with a little bit of money. Enough to cover rent. Anything. Instead I get brushed off, I am pissed. I am stressed. I am scared. This home, this roof over our heads now not only houses us being Stas and I. It also houses an innocent small and needy newborn baby. We can't be homeless. Its not an option.

To be non-stressed and non-panicked seems to be an impossibility but it has to be possible for the sake of Jaciel. Just like Stas and I have to figure out something for the sake of Jaciel. If I gaze upon her I can't help but smile. I can't help but feel a grin spread across my face. She is just too perfect to frown at.

With all that being said, whatever will be, will be and I will triumph for my daughter. My strength and motivation lays a few feet from my person, smells sweet as babies do, and depends on me to provide. Provide I will!!!

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