This has been one heck of an adventure, with family, friends and more importantly each other we are making it day by day!
Thank you Stanislav Kalyuzhny for being the best friend, companion and father that I could ever ask for.

Jaciel is here! Pictures.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Why do I want to cry today, When it is tomorrow?

Tomorrow is a difficult day for me, I can't stop thinking about it already being a year since we said goodbye to our baby girl. I know I should just be happy that right now I am sitting here feeling my little one squirm inside of my belly but its such a different world in comparison to what my heart feels. The pain is a different animal.

If I shouldn't be feeling this until tomorrow; why do I want to cry today? Is today so different then any other day, so many anniversaries seem to be coming up and somewhere in the middle Jaciel should be born and providing us with the joys and stressors of having a newborn. Yet right now I feel blah. I feel pain, I feel sad... I feel all those nasty annoying feelings you feel when you lose someone you love.

Why can't I be happy for one more day before having to face the one year anniversary of her death?

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