This has been one heck of an adventure, with family, friends and more importantly each other we are making it day by day!
Thank you Stanislav Kalyuzhny for being the best friend, companion and father that I could ever ask for.

Jaciel is here! Pictures.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Tragedy Hits

We conceived May/June time frame. Our baby girl was born in October the 17th of 2010. Obviously far too early to survive at such an undeveloped stage. I was seventeen weeks along.

Reason unknown to us at the time my water broke, no warning, no bleeding just mild contractions and my water ruptured. I went into labor. Stas and I caught a cab, to this day I don't know why we didn't call an ambulance. We went to Cal Pac Labor and Delivery on Cherry Street and found out what I had already known. Our little girl was dead.

I waited to breakdown after the nurses left but it didn't take me long. Stas held me tightly as I sobbed. They gave me two options. I could allow labor to proceed and give birth to her vaginally or they could surgically remove her from my womb. I wanted surgery, I didn't want to remember anymore of this then I had to. Stas wouldn't have it. Surgery is dangerous and it was unnecessary because I was already in labor.

Phone calls were made to my family members, we were moved into a room upstairs and I had been given something to calm myself and possibly sleep before it was time to deliver. Needless to say I didn't sleep and wouldn't stay still, most of it is a blur. I remember saying goodbye and holding her. By that time my Aunt was present and the baby was passed between her, Stas and I so we could say goodbye to our little girl.

She may have had the face only a parent could love but she was ours. Her features were already beginning to set and she looked like her daddy, already long. Stas is a tall 6foot 3inches, while I am a petite 4foot 11inches. We said goodbye, cremated her and she is safe at home where she belongs.
We Miss Our Little Girl!

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